i hung out with this boy named kaito today.
he was the same boy who woke me up after i slept through all of class the other day. i... i really don't know why he wanted to hang out with me. i don't talk to people much, so they leave me to my own devices, and i'm okay with that. but he insisted that he hang out with me. ...he was nice, though. he was always smiling, cheerful, trying to make me feel more comfortable. so i didn't think it would hurt to hang out with him.
that was yesterday. so today was the day i ended up walking around tatsumi port island with him. i had a lot of fun, actually! he took me for ice cream and everything, and i tried a new flavor (i've had vanilla ice cream, but not a vanilla popsicle before. it was sweeter!) while we just kind of wandered around. i mean, we didn't do a lot in the end, but he seemed to enjoy himself.
thinking about it, part of me is uncomfortable around him because i've never dealt with a stranger who's been so friendly before. but that's not bad, right? he's nice! so... if he wants to be friends, i don't mind.
we visited akihiko-senpai at the hospital today, too, because he was getting a check-up. all the juniors were with him. but after i showed up, everyone got real quiet and didn't talk to me a whole lot. hah...
i guess just because we live in the same dorm doesn't mean they have to like me.
but kaito likes me. it's a little weird, but, i think i'm happy. ^_^
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
rumiko!
rumiko-chan came to visit me today in school!
i was happy! too bad i'm really, really tired.
and she was skipping! that was bad. but i was too tired to lecture her for it...
today was horrible (except for the fact that rumiko-chan visited! ♥) and i can't even remember half of it. i think i slept through class all day. and some... some boy woke me up and i was drooling all over myself.
i really just want to forget that ever happened. ;n;
so, um. she helped me get back to my dorm, because i was afraid i wouldn't make it on my own. i fell asleep on the monorail, and when i woke up, akihiko-senpai was there! he keeps popping up everywhere.
i kind of live with him, but...
he gave me some money from ikutsuki. he gave us all a portion of money to spend on weapons and other paraphernalia for our future tartarus runs.
i guess that means i have to use it on that stuff. it's not enough for paints either way.
i really want some paints! >_< ;n;!
i think i'll buy a dart board. it'll help me with aim and stuff.
anyway... i'm going to cut this one short, too. i'm too tired...
until then, here's a bunny!
bunnies make the world a better place! ^_^
i was happy! too bad i'm really, really tired.
and she was skipping! that was bad. but i was too tired to lecture her for it...
today was horrible (except for the fact that rumiko-chan visited! ♥) and i can't even remember half of it. i think i slept through class all day. and some... some boy woke me up and i was drooling all over myself.
i really just want to forget that ever happened. ;n;
so, um. she helped me get back to my dorm, because i was afraid i wouldn't make it on my own. i fell asleep on the monorail, and when i woke up, akihiko-senpai was there! he keeps popping up everywhere.
i kind of live with him, but...
he gave me some money from ikutsuki. he gave us all a portion of money to spend on weapons and other paraphernalia for our future tartarus runs.
i guess that means i have to use it on that stuff. it's not enough for paints either way.
i really want some paints! >_< ;n;!
i think i'll buy a dart board. it'll help me with aim and stuff.
anyway... i'm going to cut this one short, too. i'm too tired...
until then, here's a bunny!
bunnies make the world a better place! ^_^
Monday, April 20, 2009
04.20.09
same night as my last post.
the new member who joined us a boy named junpei iori. he was... lively?
he, um, seemed nice and everything.
then ikutsuki made us play cards together to 'help us learn teamwork'. which didn't make much sense to me. he set up this complicated system where we had to say something about ourselves depending on which card we played...
after that, we left our first real mission.
we just got back from this place called 'tartarus'. it's like the stronghold of the shadows. and, guess what? it's our school. some grotesque shell of it, anyway... clawing into the sky, drooling blood...
i'm so tired. my mind is hazy. i summoned my persona for the first time while we were there -- maybe that's why. we all fought a few shadows and mitsuru taught us some of the basics of combat. we worked as a team. some of us got hurt a few times, but it turns out that yukari has the power to heal with her persona, so she took care of us. minato-kun was assigned leader... i think he did a pretty good job.
i can't think very well. my body hurts. i'm going to go to bed.
the new member who joined us a boy named junpei iori. he was... lively?
he, um, seemed nice and everything.
then ikutsuki made us play cards together to 'help us learn teamwork'. which didn't make much sense to me. he set up this complicated system where we had to say something about ourselves depending on which card we played...
after that, we left our first real mission.
we just got back from this place called 'tartarus'. it's like the stronghold of the shadows. and, guess what? it's our school. some grotesque shell of it, anyway... clawing into the sky, drooling blood...
i'm so tired. my mind is hazy. i summoned my persona for the first time while we were there -- maybe that's why. we all fought a few shadows and mitsuru taught us some of the basics of combat. we worked as a team. some of us got hurt a few times, but it turns out that yukari has the power to heal with her persona, so she took care of us. minato-kun was assigned leader... i think he did a pretty good job.
i can't think very well. my body hurts. i'm going to go to bed.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
04.19.09
another update. so much has been going on lately.
minato-kun finally woke up. i got the news later than pretty much everyone else, but i was just happy he wasn't dead. why did he pass out for so long, anyway? i heard that all of his vital signs were totally healthy the entire time! and then he just pops out of bed like nothing happened!
but thank god he did. we were all worried. the seniors didn't seem too upset about it, but i'm sure they were... i mean, it would have been a life lost in their hands...
he got back to the dorm late last night, so i managed to say hi and ask him how he was doing before he went to bed. he kind of mumbled so i'm betting that meant 'not very good'. but he was alive, so that was a step.
mitsuru said she wanted everyone to come to the command room after school the next day. we had a meeting, and both of the transfer students were invited to it. ikutsuki -- that's the chairman, who's kind of like the adult supervisor of our group -- was going to ask them to formally join SEES like the rest of us had.
just, was asking him right after he woke up from a coma really a good idea?
about as good of an idea as writing this blog post right now. my hand really hurts.
obviously neither of them were exactly willing to join. after what happened, i didn't really blame them. but i knew that their power was important to SEES... if we were the only ones who could protect these people, it was our job, whether we liked it or not. i wasn't sure how to explain that feeling to them, but i told them that we were the only ones who could protect those people that fell victim to the shadows; those victims had people who loved and cared about them, brothers, sisters, parents, friends, but those people couldn't protect them. we had the power to protect them. and i told minato, if the tables were turned -- if shokora-chan, for instance, was going to be a victim of the shadows -- would you still refuse to do it?
because shokora is like every other person out there. every other girl who has a brother, parents, friends who love her.
i think it worked. he agreed to join SEES after that, and shokora did, too.
yukari didn't really agree with my method of negotiation. ...i just didn't know how else to convince them. i was telling the truth.
anyway, so, after that, we went to bed.
oh! well, technically i got some melon bread before i went back to my room. minato spotted me with it and asked me if he could have some, so i let him. he told me he really loved melon bread, too. ^_^ it sounds silly, but i was happy! i don't know, i mean, i was still tense after everything that happened, and no one in the dorm really talked to me... all the juniors were friends, and the seniors were friends, but i was kind of by myself... minato was the first one to approach me about something that wasn't about killing evil monsters.
even if it was for melon bread.
i mean, melon bread is pretty awesome. i'm glad minato-kun thinks so too.
today was a day off, because it's sunday. so i didn't do much. i actually got dressed and was about to leave for school when i realized that i didn't have to. '-'; i felt pretty dumb after that. i went downstairs to the lounge room to find something to do, but there wasn't much down there, either... i ended up reading a newspaper.
then akihiko-senpai tried talking to me. that was uncomfortable.
i-i mean, that wasn't his fault. i just didn't know what to say. akihiko-senpai is like, this cool upperclassman type of guy that everyone respects and all the girls fawn over at school. people like that didn't talk to me, and i was used to that. things were different because he kind of lives at my dorm, and he saved my life, but i still felt weird. in the end, i wound up making him breakfast because he was acting like he was in a lot of pain because of his ribs, and he really liked it! i was happy about that. i was terrified i'd screw it up or something.
i burned myself while i was cooking, though. i felt stupid for doing it, so now i've been wearing this oven mitt to cover it up all day. i know i should probably get it fixed, but... i don't know how? i can't wrap it in toilet paper. i don't have anything else to fix it with. ;n; well, no one's asked, so i'll just be weird and wear this oven mitt until i think of something.
akihiko-senpai said we're getting a new member today, though. i'm not sure whether to be happy about it or not. the dorm is filling up fast... but i still feel so lonely.
minato-kun finally woke up. i got the news later than pretty much everyone else, but i was just happy he wasn't dead. why did he pass out for so long, anyway? i heard that all of his vital signs were totally healthy the entire time! and then he just pops out of bed like nothing happened!
but thank god he did. we were all worried. the seniors didn't seem too upset about it, but i'm sure they were... i mean, it would have been a life lost in their hands...
he got back to the dorm late last night, so i managed to say hi and ask him how he was doing before he went to bed. he kind of mumbled so i'm betting that meant 'not very good'. but he was alive, so that was a step.
mitsuru said she wanted everyone to come to the command room after school the next day. we had a meeting, and both of the transfer students were invited to it. ikutsuki -- that's the chairman, who's kind of like the adult supervisor of our group -- was going to ask them to formally join SEES like the rest of us had.
just, was asking him right after he woke up from a coma really a good idea?
about as good of an idea as writing this blog post right now. my hand really hurts.
obviously neither of them were exactly willing to join. after what happened, i didn't really blame them. but i knew that their power was important to SEES... if we were the only ones who could protect these people, it was our job, whether we liked it or not. i wasn't sure how to explain that feeling to them, but i told them that we were the only ones who could protect those people that fell victim to the shadows; those victims had people who loved and cared about them, brothers, sisters, parents, friends, but those people couldn't protect them. we had the power to protect them. and i told minato, if the tables were turned -- if shokora-chan, for instance, was going to be a victim of the shadows -- would you still refuse to do it?
because shokora is like every other person out there. every other girl who has a brother, parents, friends who love her.
i think it worked. he agreed to join SEES after that, and shokora did, too.
yukari didn't really agree with my method of negotiation. ...i just didn't know how else to convince them. i was telling the truth.
anyway, so, after that, we went to bed.
oh! well, technically i got some melon bread before i went back to my room. minato spotted me with it and asked me if he could have some, so i let him. he told me he really loved melon bread, too. ^_^ it sounds silly, but i was happy! i don't know, i mean, i was still tense after everything that happened, and no one in the dorm really talked to me... all the juniors were friends, and the seniors were friends, but i was kind of by myself... minato was the first one to approach me about something that wasn't about killing evil monsters.
even if it was for melon bread.
i mean, melon bread is pretty awesome. i'm glad minato-kun thinks so too.
today was a day off, because it's sunday. so i didn't do much. i actually got dressed and was about to leave for school when i realized that i didn't have to. '-'; i felt pretty dumb after that. i went downstairs to the lounge room to find something to do, but there wasn't much down there, either... i ended up reading a newspaper.
then akihiko-senpai tried talking to me. that was uncomfortable.
i-i mean, that wasn't his fault. i just didn't know what to say. akihiko-senpai is like, this cool upperclassman type of guy that everyone respects and all the girls fawn over at school. people like that didn't talk to me, and i was used to that. things were different because he kind of lives at my dorm, and he saved my life, but i still felt weird. in the end, i wound up making him breakfast because he was acting like he was in a lot of pain because of his ribs, and he really liked it! i was happy about that. i was terrified i'd screw it up or something.
i burned myself while i was cooking, though. i felt stupid for doing it, so now i've been wearing this oven mitt to cover it up all day. i know i should probably get it fixed, but... i don't know how? i can't wrap it in toilet paper. i don't have anything else to fix it with. ;n; well, no one's asked, so i'll just be weird and wear this oven mitt until i think of something.
akihiko-senpai said we're getting a new member today, though. i'm not sure whether to be happy about it or not. the dorm is filling up fast... but i still feel so lonely.
Friday, April 10, 2009
04.10.09
and here i thought school was going to be my biggest concern.
i managed through my third day without much to note. went to class. no crisis at lunch. finished my day. when i got back to the dorm, i played my GSP some, but since i didn't have any homework, i went to bed pretty early. slept for a while. a few hours. nothing strange.
then i wake up, and all hell has broken loose in the dorm. it's being attacked by a pack of shadows.
i ran out and mitsuru was going downstairs with yukari and the chairman. she told me to go suit up and get my evoker, so i did. i kept panicking. like, what do i do if the thing comes at me? do i just shoot myself in the head? it's not a real gun, right? there's no actual gun mechanisms? i don't have to turn the safety on or something? when i got everything together, i ran out downstairs and i see akihiko-senpai with this huge bloody splotch covering half of his ribcage.
i don't know what i was thinking there. i saw him hurt, and i saw everyone else panicking, and i thought... what if it comes in the dorm when we're not ready? what if it kills all of us when we're trapped here? i didn't want that to happen. if there was anything i could do to save their lives... i wanted to do it.
this thing, whatever it was, was outside attacking the dorm. so the only thing i could think to do was make myself bait. if the thing came after me, everyone else would have time to prepare or at least ambush it while it's focused on me. so i ran outside. was it dumb? a little bit.
i didn't get killed (so what if my sitting here writing this post already told you that? >_<) but one of the monsters kind of like the one i saw when i was first recruited started chasing me. i didn't have any clue what to do... i put the evoker up to my head, but i couldn't bring myself to shoot it. so i kept running. i tried doing really anything i could to make sure it didn't catch me, but i tripped on a trash can somewhere along the way.
what a shocker.
i couldn't run much longer because i was completely out of breath, but i still couldn't shoot the damn gun, so i... i didn't know what to do. it kept coming at me. but akihiko-senpai, even though he was wounded, must have chased us, because he showed up right then and saved me.
...wow, i didn't realize how corny that sounded until just now.
it sounds like something out of a movie. '-';
but he saved me. mitsuru came up just after that and started to yell at us both... i understand why she yelled at me, but why akihiko? he saved my life. he didn't do anything wrong.
okay, well, i think he brought the shadows to the dorm in the first place, but...
i didn't know what to think after that. we all got back to the dorm, but only a few of the shadows had followed me. this huge shadow had gone after yukari, who was trying to keep minato and shokora safe. i'm not kidding when i say it was huge; all the ones i had seen before were tiny compared to this thing, arms and blades everywhere...
mitsuru told me to come with her to help them, because yukari had been incapacitated and the rest of them were defenseless.
by the time we got there, though, it was dead. when yukari lost her evoker, minato got it instead and evoked... his persona had been powerful enough to kill that giant shadow, but he passed out afterwards. mitsuru didn't seem very worried about it, so we all assumed that it was maybe a brief repercussion to summoning for the first time. she healed everyone with her persona's magic, and everyone reassembled in the dorm... akihiko was taken to the hospital, and so was minato, for good measure.
the rest of us went to bed, because we were exhausted. when i woke up i went to school as normal -- i didn't see anyone in the dorm on my way out, which i thought was weird, but i figured maybe they went ahead of me. when i got back, i realized that while akihiko-senpai was all right aside from a badly broken ribcage, minato still hadn't regained consciousness since he passed out.
that meant he was in a coma, and the doctors didn't have a clue why.
we're all in disarray. i never got to know minato, but thinking that he might not ever wake up from summoning his persona is horrible. and how do we know that won't happen to us when we summon? that doesn't usually happen, right? what makes him different?
shokora is so upset about it that i don't think she sleeps much anymore. she's always at the hospital. yukari is hurt, too... neither of the transfer students have been here for that long -- two or three days -- but i know she's become quick friends with them both. and it was her job to keep them safe that night. now that he's in a coma and no one has a clue when, or if, he'll wake up, i can only imagine how guilty she must feel...
i'm starting to second-guess all of this...
i managed through my third day without much to note. went to class. no crisis at lunch. finished my day. when i got back to the dorm, i played my GSP some, but since i didn't have any homework, i went to bed pretty early. slept for a while. a few hours. nothing strange.
then i wake up, and all hell has broken loose in the dorm. it's being attacked by a pack of shadows.
i ran out and mitsuru was going downstairs with yukari and the chairman. she told me to go suit up and get my evoker, so i did. i kept panicking. like, what do i do if the thing comes at me? do i just shoot myself in the head? it's not a real gun, right? there's no actual gun mechanisms? i don't have to turn the safety on or something? when i got everything together, i ran out downstairs and i see akihiko-senpai with this huge bloody splotch covering half of his ribcage.
i don't know what i was thinking there. i saw him hurt, and i saw everyone else panicking, and i thought... what if it comes in the dorm when we're not ready? what if it kills all of us when we're trapped here? i didn't want that to happen. if there was anything i could do to save their lives... i wanted to do it.
this thing, whatever it was, was outside attacking the dorm. so the only thing i could think to do was make myself bait. if the thing came after me, everyone else would have time to prepare or at least ambush it while it's focused on me. so i ran outside. was it dumb? a little bit.
i didn't get killed (so what if my sitting here writing this post already told you that? >_<) but one of the monsters kind of like the one i saw when i was first recruited started chasing me. i didn't have any clue what to do... i put the evoker up to my head, but i couldn't bring myself to shoot it. so i kept running. i tried doing really anything i could to make sure it didn't catch me, but i tripped on a trash can somewhere along the way.
what a shocker.
i couldn't run much longer because i was completely out of breath, but i still couldn't shoot the damn gun, so i... i didn't know what to do. it kept coming at me. but akihiko-senpai, even though he was wounded, must have chased us, because he showed up right then and saved me.
...wow, i didn't realize how corny that sounded until just now.
it sounds like something out of a movie. '-';
but he saved me. mitsuru came up just after that and started to yell at us both... i understand why she yelled at me, but why akihiko? he saved my life. he didn't do anything wrong.
okay, well, i think he brought the shadows to the dorm in the first place, but...
i didn't know what to think after that. we all got back to the dorm, but only a few of the shadows had followed me. this huge shadow had gone after yukari, who was trying to keep minato and shokora safe. i'm not kidding when i say it was huge; all the ones i had seen before were tiny compared to this thing, arms and blades everywhere...
mitsuru told me to come with her to help them, because yukari had been incapacitated and the rest of them were defenseless.
by the time we got there, though, it was dead. when yukari lost her evoker, minato got it instead and evoked... his persona had been powerful enough to kill that giant shadow, but he passed out afterwards. mitsuru didn't seem very worried about it, so we all assumed that it was maybe a brief repercussion to summoning for the first time. she healed everyone with her persona's magic, and everyone reassembled in the dorm... akihiko was taken to the hospital, and so was minato, for good measure.
the rest of us went to bed, because we were exhausted. when i woke up i went to school as normal -- i didn't see anyone in the dorm on my way out, which i thought was weird, but i figured maybe they went ahead of me. when i got back, i realized that while akihiko-senpai was all right aside from a badly broken ribcage, minato still hadn't regained consciousness since he passed out.
that meant he was in a coma, and the doctors didn't have a clue why.
we're all in disarray. i never got to know minato, but thinking that he might not ever wake up from summoning his persona is horrible. and how do we know that won't happen to us when we summon? that doesn't usually happen, right? what makes him different?
shokora is so upset about it that i don't think she sleeps much anymore. she's always at the hospital. yukari is hurt, too... neither of the transfer students have been here for that long -- two or three days -- but i know she's become quick friends with them both. and it was her job to keep them safe that night. now that he's in a coma and no one has a clue when, or if, he'll wake up, i can only imagine how guilty she must feel...
i'm starting to second-guess all of this...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
04.07.09
today was my first day of high school.
since i had a hard time getting to sleep last night, i prepped everything the day before. i set out my new school uniform and packed my lunch, and made sure everything was in my backpack. so when i woke up, i didn't have much to do except for get dressed and groom a little, and i followed yukari to the monorail that we're supposed to take to school.
she was with the two transfer students. i heard last minute from mitsuru that they were going to move in, but i didn't know they would be coming so soon. they were friendly. there was a boy and a girl, and they acted like old friends. they took really well to yukari-chan. the boy is minato, and the girl is shokora. shokora seems friendly and outgoing... minato acts just the opposite. but i don't think he's mean.
when we got to the school, i didn't want to bother them, so i branched off on my own and tried to figure out the building for myself. i managed to find my classroom and i didn't have any problems from there. i didn't make any new friends in class, but that's not anything new. otherwise, i managed to do my work and got through the day. until lunch.
lunch was terrible. i remembered my locker number and my combination from earlier -- our teacher took us there so we could put our extra things in them close to the beginning of class -- but when i tried to open it, it refused to work. i tried about three or four times before i gave up and started crying in the middle of the school. i was terrified and frustrated... i couldn't get to my lunch without opening my locker, and it refused to open.
someone did stop and help me, though. i didn't know her at first. she was a senior, a girl named sadako. i told her my locker combination and she opened it on her first try. which figures... i must have been shaking too hard to open it or something.
i was really grateful that she stopped to help me. we ate lunch together that day, but it was quiet. i knew she was just helping me to be nice and i didn't have anyone else to eat lunch with, so she humored me, but that didn't mean we were going to be friends. either way, i'm happy she did. i don't know what i would have done if no one came to help me. probably would have gone back to class without eating.
school was normal after that. i got back on the monorail when class was over and got back to the dorm, and now i'm in my room. i survived! i had to get some help on the way, and i cried and broke down about something pretty stupid in hindsight, but i did it! i'm proud of myself.
not really, but oh well.
i'm just glad it's over. the first day is always the hardest. the dorm feels a little more friendly with the two new transfer students, too, even though i haven't made friends with them. yukari is always chatting and hanging out with them, and i guess it's just nice to hear someone talking.
i have school tomorrow, too. bleh. '-' it'll be easier. i can do it!
since i had a hard time getting to sleep last night, i prepped everything the day before. i set out my new school uniform and packed my lunch, and made sure everything was in my backpack. so when i woke up, i didn't have much to do except for get dressed and groom a little, and i followed yukari to the monorail that we're supposed to take to school.
she was with the two transfer students. i heard last minute from mitsuru that they were going to move in, but i didn't know they would be coming so soon. they were friendly. there was a boy and a girl, and they acted like old friends. they took really well to yukari-chan. the boy is minato, and the girl is shokora. shokora seems friendly and outgoing... minato acts just the opposite. but i don't think he's mean.
when we got to the school, i didn't want to bother them, so i branched off on my own and tried to figure out the building for myself. i managed to find my classroom and i didn't have any problems from there. i didn't make any new friends in class, but that's not anything new. otherwise, i managed to do my work and got through the day. until lunch.
lunch was terrible. i remembered my locker number and my combination from earlier -- our teacher took us there so we could put our extra things in them close to the beginning of class -- but when i tried to open it, it refused to work. i tried about three or four times before i gave up and started crying in the middle of the school. i was terrified and frustrated... i couldn't get to my lunch without opening my locker, and it refused to open.
someone did stop and help me, though. i didn't know her at first. she was a senior, a girl named sadako. i told her my locker combination and she opened it on her first try. which figures... i must have been shaking too hard to open it or something.
i was really grateful that she stopped to help me. we ate lunch together that day, but it was quiet. i knew she was just helping me to be nice and i didn't have anyone else to eat lunch with, so she humored me, but that didn't mean we were going to be friends. either way, i'm happy she did. i don't know what i would have done if no one came to help me. probably would have gone back to class without eating.
school was normal after that. i got back on the monorail when class was over and got back to the dorm, and now i'm in my room. i survived! i had to get some help on the way, and i cried and broke down about something pretty stupid in hindsight, but i did it! i'm proud of myself.
not really, but oh well.
i'm just glad it's over. the first day is always the hardest. the dorm feels a little more friendly with the two new transfer students, too, even though i haven't made friends with them. yukari is always chatting and hanging out with them, and i guess it's just nice to hear someone talking.
i have school tomorrow, too. bleh. '-' it'll be easier. i can do it!
Monday, April 6, 2009
04.06.09
i'm so antsy. tomorrow is going to be terrifying. ;n;
i thought i'd do this quiz to help keep my mind off of things.
01. My name is -- maemi
02. I may seem -- quiet
03. But I'm really -- shy
04. People who know me think -- well, that depends
05. If you knew me you'd -- like me, i hope
06. Sometimes I feel -- melancholy
07. In the morning I -- chill in bed (i can't after school starts! >_<)
08. I like to sleep -- in shorts and a loose shirt
09. If I could be doing anything right now I would be -- visiting rumiko-chan
10. Money is -- something i need more of...
11. One thing I wish I had is -- more friends
12. One thing I have that I wish I didn't is -- a lot of terrible memories
13. All you need is -- love
14. All I need is -- i wish i knew
15. If I had one wish it would be -- to change what happened with my mother
16. Love is -- a beautiful thing... most of the time
17. My body is -- i... i don't know? it's okay?
18. If an angel flew into my window at night I would -- try to talk to it
19. If a demon crashed into my window I would -- probably cry and panic
20. If I could see one person right now it would be -- rumiko
21. Something I want but I don't really need is -- my paints... so badly
22. Something I need but I don't really want is -- um... i'm not sure
23. When I jack off I think of -- w-what? o///o
24. I dare you all to -- lick your elbow!
25. I am afraid of -- fighting... being hit...
26. It makes me angry when -- people fight. people victimize each other. people are selfish and don't care about anyone but themselves.
27. Drugs are -- addictive and bad for you...
28. I daydream about -- running away and becoming someone else
29. I cry because -- i wish things were different
30. This quiz is -- helping me pass time ^_^
i should probably get some sleep soon, but i'm so nervous...
i thought i'd do this quiz to help keep my mind off of things.
01. My name is -- maemi
02. I may seem -- quiet
03. But I'm really -- shy
04. People who know me think -- well, that depends
05. If you knew me you'd -- like me, i hope
06. Sometimes I feel -- melancholy
07. In the morning I -- chill in bed (i can't after school starts! >_<)
08. I like to sleep -- in shorts and a loose shirt
09. If I could be doing anything right now I would be -- visiting rumiko-chan
10. Money is -- something i need more of...
11. One thing I wish I had is -- more friends
12. One thing I have that I wish I didn't is -- a lot of terrible memories
13. All you need is -- love
14. All I need is -- i wish i knew
15. If I had one wish it would be -- to change what happened with my mother
16. Love is -- a beautiful thing... most of the time
17. My body is -- i... i don't know? it's okay?
18. If an angel flew into my window at night I would -- try to talk to it
19. If a demon crashed into my window I would -- probably cry and panic
20. If I could see one person right now it would be -- rumiko
21. Something I want but I don't really need is -- my paints... so badly
22. Something I need but I don't really want is -- um... i'm not sure
23. When I jack off I think of -- w-what? o///o
24. I dare you all to -- lick your elbow!
25. I am afraid of -- fighting... being hit...
26. It makes me angry when -- people fight. people victimize each other. people are selfish and don't care about anyone but themselves.
27. Drugs are -- addictive and bad for you...
28. I daydream about -- running away and becoming someone else
29. I cry because -- i wish things were different
30. This quiz is -- helping me pass time ^_^
i should probably get some sleep soon, but i'm so nervous...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
04.02.09
i forgot about this blog for a while. i just moved in and i'm trying to find something to help me calm down, so i remembered this and thought i should write an update.
everything that night... happened. i wasn't imagining anything. when i got out of school that day, that boy i met the night before came and took me back to the high school dorm where he stayed with that girl, and i met the chairman of their school. they explained everything that was going on to me. they said they found another recruit -- who was going to be a junior next year, named yukari -- who was going to be joining them soon, and that they wanted me to join their force too. i had a special power, called a 'persona', that made me one of the very few people who could fight these demons called 'shadows'.
it all sounded like nonsense! but it wasn't. i knew i had experienced this hour before, and these people could, too. i felt like i was crazy, but then these people came to indulge my insanity. haha... i'm still not sure what to feel about the whole thing.
i agreed to join them. these shadows feed on the minds of people, and only people with personas can protect them. if my life can be good for something, i want to make use of it. and if this is the way i have to do it, i'm ready to accept that. they said that since i was going to high school next year that arranging things would be easy; i would be attending gekkoukan high school and they would move me into their high school dorm. nii-chan was really confused about why i was suddenly going to be enrolled in a public school, but mitsuru -- the girl i met that night, who is apparently the daughter of the kirijo group's CEO! -- told me that she would make sure all confusions were handled. in the end, he didn't ask me why i chose to go here.
after all of that mess, i had to pack everything from my middle school dorm and move it into this dorm. they gave me an armband with the group name printed on it, SEES, and my own specialized evoker that i'm supposed to use in combat. they said that it'll probably be a while before i have to use it. so now i'm sitting in my new room in this high school dorm, with my first day of high school in just a few days, and i'm scared out of my mind... not just about school, but about everything...
i don't know anyone here very well. that yukari girl moved in a few days before i did. she acts friendly, but we don't talk. she's probably as nervous and misplaced as i am. we don't talk to the seniors, either, because they always seem busy. and they really aren't friendly. they're both friends, i think, but they act so cold to everyone else... i've always felt isolated and alone in dorms, but i think i feel even moreso in this one...
i never know what to expect these days. i'm going to miss rumiko-chan. if only she was a little older, we would have been able to go to the same school for a year... this year will be her first of middle school. i hope everything works out all right for her. but she's always been more successful with people than i have, even if she gets called weird and eccentric all the time. she is who she is! ^_^ people like her for that.
i would go and talk to the others in the dorm, but i'm scared to. i've never made friends with people in my dorms. this one is different... we're all in some kind of resistance group together... but i still feel too uncomfortable to do it. all i can do is wait for school to come. i wish i had more to do.
i wish i had my paints...
everything that night... happened. i wasn't imagining anything. when i got out of school that day, that boy i met the night before came and took me back to the high school dorm where he stayed with that girl, and i met the chairman of their school. they explained everything that was going on to me. they said they found another recruit -- who was going to be a junior next year, named yukari -- who was going to be joining them soon, and that they wanted me to join their force too. i had a special power, called a 'persona', that made me one of the very few people who could fight these demons called 'shadows'.
it all sounded like nonsense! but it wasn't. i knew i had experienced this hour before, and these people could, too. i felt like i was crazy, but then these people came to indulge my insanity. haha... i'm still not sure what to feel about the whole thing.
i agreed to join them. these shadows feed on the minds of people, and only people with personas can protect them. if my life can be good for something, i want to make use of it. and if this is the way i have to do it, i'm ready to accept that. they said that since i was going to high school next year that arranging things would be easy; i would be attending gekkoukan high school and they would move me into their high school dorm. nii-chan was really confused about why i was suddenly going to be enrolled in a public school, but mitsuru -- the girl i met that night, who is apparently the daughter of the kirijo group's CEO! -- told me that she would make sure all confusions were handled. in the end, he didn't ask me why i chose to go here.
after all of that mess, i had to pack everything from my middle school dorm and move it into this dorm. they gave me an armband with the group name printed on it, SEES, and my own specialized evoker that i'm supposed to use in combat. they said that it'll probably be a while before i have to use it. so now i'm sitting in my new room in this high school dorm, with my first day of high school in just a few days, and i'm scared out of my mind... not just about school, but about everything...
i don't know anyone here very well. that yukari girl moved in a few days before i did. she acts friendly, but we don't talk. she's probably as nervous and misplaced as i am. we don't talk to the seniors, either, because they always seem busy. and they really aren't friendly. they're both friends, i think, but they act so cold to everyone else... i've always felt isolated and alone in dorms, but i think i feel even moreso in this one...
i never know what to expect these days. i'm going to miss rumiko-chan. if only she was a little older, we would have been able to go to the same school for a year... this year will be her first of middle school. i hope everything works out all right for her. but she's always been more successful with people than i have, even if she gets called weird and eccentric all the time. she is who she is! ^_^ people like her for that.
i would go and talk to the others in the dorm, but i'm scared to. i've never made friends with people in my dorms. this one is different... we're all in some kind of resistance group together... but i still feel too uncomfortable to do it. all i can do is wait for school to come. i wish i had more to do.
i wish i had my paints...
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