i forgot about this blog for a while. i just moved in and i'm trying to find something to help me calm down, so i remembered this and thought i should write an update.
everything that night... happened. i wasn't imagining anything. when i got out of school that day, that boy i met the night before came and took me back to the high school dorm where he stayed with that girl, and i met the chairman of their school. they explained everything that was going on to me. they said they found another recruit -- who was going to be a junior next year, named yukari -- who was going to be joining them soon, and that they wanted me to join their force too. i had a special power, called a 'persona', that made me one of the very few people who could fight these demons called 'shadows'.
it all sounded like nonsense! but it wasn't. i knew i had experienced this hour before, and these people could, too. i felt like i was crazy, but then these people came to indulge my insanity. haha... i'm still not sure what to feel about the whole thing.
i agreed to join them. these shadows feed on the minds of people, and only people with personas can protect them. if my life can be good for something, i want to make use of it. and if this is the way i have to do it, i'm ready to accept that. they said that since i was going to high school next year that arranging things would be easy; i would be attending gekkoukan high school and they would move me into their high school dorm. nii-chan was really confused about why i was suddenly going to be enrolled in a public school, but mitsuru -- the girl i met that night, who is apparently the daughter of the kirijo group's CEO! -- told me that she would make sure all confusions were handled. in the end, he didn't ask me why i chose to go here.
after all of that mess, i had to pack everything from my middle school dorm and move it into this dorm. they gave me an armband with the group name printed on it, SEES, and my own specialized evoker that i'm supposed to use in combat. they said that it'll probably be a while before i have to use it. so now i'm sitting in my new room in this high school dorm, with my first day of high school in just a few days, and i'm scared out of my mind... not just about school, but about everything...
i don't know anyone here very well. that yukari girl moved in a few days before i did. she acts friendly, but we don't talk. she's probably as nervous and misplaced as i am. we don't talk to the seniors, either, because they always seem busy. and they really aren't friendly. they're both friends, i think, but they act so cold to everyone else... i've always felt isolated and alone in dorms, but i think i feel even moreso in this one...
i never know what to expect these days. i'm going to miss rumiko-chan. if only she was a little older, we would have been able to go to the same school for a year... this year will be her first of middle school. i hope everything works out all right for her. but she's always been more successful with people than i have, even if she gets called weird and eccentric all the time. she is who she is! ^_^ people like her for that.
i would go and talk to the others in the dorm, but i'm scared to. i've never made friends with people in my dorms. this one is different... we're all in some kind of resistance group together... but i still feel too uncomfortable to do it. all i can do is wait for school to come. i wish i had more to do.
i wish i had my paints...
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